I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
meet me or not, i'm out of control
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
