a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
