I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
