just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I need water and some morals
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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