oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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