why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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