I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
