hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
