Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
