my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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