I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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