I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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