I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
