so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She bit a glass in half.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
