Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize