I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
