Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
