I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
