think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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