his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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