now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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