It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
