I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
