CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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