i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
