At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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