like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Damn victory sex feels great
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
