Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
