Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
