i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He felt like a one man threesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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