i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She told me Iām a āstunt cock.ā Iām okay with that
He wouldnāt know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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