like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Holy sore nipples Batman
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
