Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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