There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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