A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
