i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
