mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize