he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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