What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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