I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
