The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
True strength comes from lack of pants
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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