I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
