Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
