i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
