I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
