all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
