im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
