Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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