Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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