what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
accomplished twins. life is a go
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
