Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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