I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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