My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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