I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
