She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
