I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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