I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
