my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
