We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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